Dr. Burke is black Friday, Jun 29 2007

For the ahmish who read my blog but nothing else in the news let me give you some background. Isaiah Washington got into an argument with McDreamy and called T.R. Knight a McFag. Boy those queens whirled up a storm. That man is hated now.

I guess first is his reaction. For saying fag he went through counseling and said he has some issues he has to work out.

Then nobody let up on him.

Then they are not renewing his contract. He is now claiming it is because he is black. Then why did they hire him anyways? And why are they not firing Dr. Bailey? Clearly he is just trying to gather sympathy with race since everybody came to T.R. Knight’s defense.

side not who names their kid T.R.

Anyways it’s bull shit that it’s a racist issue now. I can understand that he’s pissed off and I did feel bad for him but now he can suck it. Will the bullshit he is pulling now that is probably why they chose to not renew his contract.

p.s. if T.R. Knight is reading this I’ll bone you

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I’m mad about you baby Thursday, Jun 28 2007

I am the biggest fan of old sitcoms at night. I just watched the nanny. I love that jewish bitch. Speaking of jewish bitches my mom is still one. We were just in Chicago to visit family and so my parents could see my brother’s pictures from Israel. During the trip we visited my cousin who just remolded her kitchen. She was telling us how her cabinets were made by the ahmish and started to talk about the ahmish. My mom who is delightfully boring thought it sucked to hear about the ahmish. When that is more intersting than anything she talks about. Hell living the ahmish live is more interesting.

I got to see my love Natalia who lives in Chicago. She scored free tickets to a radio station concert. There were about 30 rap artists who suck. But the 13 year old wiggers loved them. I saw more make up than I have ever scene before. Let’s be clear I’ve been to drag shows. But then we saw Hillary Duff. Totally a fag who stood up the entire time. But she was amazing. We wanted to see Rihanna but we would have had to wait two more hours. At least. Uhh yeah I already had my fill of rap so we went to dinner.

Nola so soon.

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Morgan Freeman needs to drive my mom around Friday, Jun 22 2007

So the general opinion of my mom’s driving skills is already lower than dubya’s approval rating. After a day of getting to be driven around but what can only be described by pedestrians as Charles Manson’s chaufer I learned a couple rules of the road.

-when letting another car go first at a stop sign it helps to not even do the california roll. This way it keeps the other drive on their toes. Don’t let them go when you’re going

-the best way to break at a stop light is to do it 20 feet behind the car in front of you really suddenly then creep up slowly.

-it is stupid to be in the lane closer to the turn lane. Other cars need to be able to exercise courtesy and this is a good way to teach them. Also in case you have to go to Vegas it is good to know your luck ahead of time.

-if the driver in front of you breaks. no matter the situation you must slam on your breaks

-beware of cops at all times. Even if you’re not speeding. Even if the cop is out of the vehicle on the opposite side of the freeway their car (Which apparently is night rider) will alert the officer of your speeding and they will pull you over. Or there is another cop they will alert

If any of these rules are confusing just act in confusion. Beware though, do not practice any of these rules against my mother as she will get terribly upset

p.s. the title is referencing driving miss daisey

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the chocolate big easy Friday, Jun 22 2007

I found a place to live for july and august and my parents have agreed. See you july 1st

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I wish my tummy was as flat as my tire Wednesday, Jun 20 2007

So last night I got a flat tire. I hate flat tires because I’m lazy. I literally got a brand new set of tires two weeks ago. Well at 11:00 last night I hit a curb going 40mph (it was a school zone of course I don’t speed other wise). So I pulled into the parkening lot of a steak n’ shake to change it. These guys who were sitting in the corner in their car asked if I needed help. So I told the pot heads thanks but I’m good I know how to change a tire. I wish I was a hot chick and they would have done it for me with me only having to pay them back with a three way. But if you know how to change a tire it’s not like a second pair of hands really helps. But I know the rule pay it forward.

So I didn’t go into work today since I waited an hour and a half to get my tire changed. Well i got some lunch and ate at home. Then my boss called. For those of us who don’t know she’s a 65 year old jewish woman. Can we say yenta who is a picky cunt. So she called and yelled at me for not going in. If I did go in I would have just sat on facebook for two hours. So I decided to work at home today. So she was mad and I told her sorry I got a flat tire. I offered to come in and she sounded so pissed that she was now going to have to go in to the office. Like she can’t talk to friends at home.

But at least now I don’t feel bad about leaving early to go to New Orleans. I think I found a place in uptown. I’m just waiting to doubl echeck something. Then I have to start the fight of when to go down. We have my father who knows I hate being home and my mother who is going to be pissed no matter what. Why is it so expensive? Why can’t you live at home and get antoher job and take summer classes? I just want to ask her why do you have to be a fucking bitch and why can’t you get off my back?

Then I had to play tennis with her today. If I don’t she gets upset. But if I asked her and she said no it would still be my fault. If you’re scratching your head right now this is what it’s like in my family. It’s rather difficult to play with her because she hits it like an old jewish woman so they’re all low to the ground. Also she does this thing while waiting she’ll jump up and down like 6 times to make it a better exercise routine. Or when chasing a ball that rolled away she’ll break into this wicked slow jog for about 4 seconds then stops. But at least her 6 pack shows.

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all day long I dream about sex Thursday, Jun 14 2007

So I am on this website that I shall remane nameless for legal purposes but it’s asite where homosexuals post profiles to meet people. A lot for sex and a far smaller portion for chatting. In my profile I say I am interested in anybody over forty. Only becuase I perfer my condoms to not be pruchased with social security money. And I may always be interested in talking to older guys but there is a limit. Some older gentleman of age 47 messaged me saying it was offense. And so on and so forth for what seemed what would be longer than the fourth Harry Potter book. All of it saying how I was a terrible person. I wrote him back if I have to talk to somebody my age he needs to sleep with somebody who is 94.

I saw a link for the greatest website in history. It is a gay porn site that has the following catch. It’s all thugs who are hypnotized to perform the unspeakable act.

Besides all that that has to do with erections I may be going back down NOLA early. Working the old bar job and who knows what else. I need to get out of CoMo. On the bright side I can make some extra money from selling audio recordings of my parents to Guntanamo. Shit we’ll find Osama yet.

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A bottle of wine a day keeps the doctor away Saturday, Jun 9 2007

So I have a developed a nice taste in wine. My parnets have a decent supply of wine in the house and so far it has all been good wine. But it makes me happy. Also to go along with my new bullshit major of music I decided to add a nice bull shit minor of film studies. If only I could trhow in communications.

In other news Danielle has come to visit. We do nothing but watch movies. One of the best movies I have seen in a while is For Your Consideration. Also my parents like refuse to leave her alone. They just won’t leave us alone.

I got a cute top for Aurora Cecile. It was on sale. I also got a dress.

I also got DDR.. I’m going to use it to try and loose weight.

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I want to be your umberella Monday, Jun 4 2007

As the movie awards play I have a new found love for Rihanna. Although loved before she is wear an S&M themed bra and skirt. Also I was not aware the bob was in such style. Both Rihanna and Victoria Becknam now have one. I don’t know why they both did this but Anna Wintour still doesn’t love you. The other thing I love is how Sarah Silverman made a Paris Hilton is going to jail and is a slut. So when she mentioned jail the entire audience started to cheer. She looked pissed off. For the slut comment she tried to look pissed off by eventually she broke a smile. To finish up MTV is promoting the awards during the commercial break. I just figure that if you wanted to watch the show you would.

This reminds me I’m now a music major. Maybe if I do something I am passionate about my GPA will raise like my blood pressure.

In other news my parents are still driving me nuts. They also are noticing me hitting the bottle. But I think it’s only fair.

Lastly people in Venezuela are protesting Chave’s takeover of the station of telivion that was dissenting. Who predicts violent revolution soon.

Sarah Silverman looks a lot like Amy Winehouse. No NO NOOOOOO

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