I live the surreal life Saturday, Mar 31 2007

So fist let’s go with the dream. I had a dream that me and JoJo were close friends after meeting someplace in San Diego. And she was only in town for one night for a show. SO she decided to call me and I was going to pick up but then decided she needs to hear more of my call tone and I am Telling you. Well it went to voicemail but I did eventually get a hold of her. I was also on the way to my high school in San Diego meeting my two friends who just cames from Missouri to visit NOLA. Well on the phone with JoJo we didn’t end up making plans. She didn’t like Grey’s Anatomy and couldn’t drink because she had to take care of her voice.

Now for real life. When I joke that I am a wristband specialist I did not ever think I would become the wristband specialist to the stars. I put a wristband on Lance Bass last night. He was really drunk and not dressed as cute as somebody to gets royalties of No Strings Attached should be. But I would have had sex with him. More because he is a man than famous though.

So this was my night of the D listers.

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I’m still telling you just so you know Saturday, Mar 31 2007

First I would like to talk about why I love this song so much. It’s a very complicated reason. It’s how I feel a lot. Everybody who knows me and that I want a relationship more than Jesus wants a claw hammer. It’s just the feeling of being in a certain place in someone’s heart that I never felt i filled. There have been certain men who have fufilled this such as Jamie Foxx so I finally have a soulful song to take my position. Plus musically the song is very enjoyable to me.

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And I am telling you… Thursday, Mar 29 2007

You’re the best man I’ll ever know ect. So first Miss Paul Tulane/Mr Sophie Newcomb were last night. Thanks to all the performers and contestants we raised $500 for No Aids. I did not win the crown but I’m actually not terribly bothered. The important thing is the charity and that next year will be even better. Besides I can always win next year. High lights would include me almost falling off my heels numerous times and picking up Ben with one hand. I would just like to say I feel very pretty in make up and women’s clothes. I hope somebody tells my mom that. Because I feel like she doesn’t feel pretty in make up and the better cut women’s clothes that she has more options with than men’s clothes.

Now this is where the bitching starts so if you would care to stop reading no problem
Let’s just recap my life. My iPod car connector broke by me pulling it out. Which unless I am mistaken that is the function of it. To be unplugged from a car more than 5 times. My parents still suck but that’s not changeable. School is terribly hard. I love spending money but I have expensive tastes for a lady who puts wristbands on for a living. I lost my burt’s bees.

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revenge of the killer lemons Wednesday, Mar 28 2007

I will attempt to make this insightful but if the lemon confuses anybody just go do meth and forget about this. Let’s start with that i’ve put all this gardening into my lemon tree and life gave me lemonade. Which is my favorite drink ever in this blog. But my lemonade did not stay lemonade. because of my exra meds I took during the filming afer I promised not to my lemonade turned into a lemon. All thanks to my black magic. Then I took that lemon and poured its juice into the open wound of my heart and soul. The lemon is just a poor innocent bystander fruit. Being the perfect fruit it is and I just go and after loving it from a seedling into a tree then I squash it breaking its trust in me and doing nothing but inflaming pain that I also caused with a knife being my meds. SO we are back at when life gives you lemons you make lemonades. well i tried to make lemonade and instead i squeezed juice in my cut. Quite the opposite of lemonade. So can one pick a lemon up off of the ground and still make lemonade out of it?

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Thing I learned at home Sunday, Mar 25 2007

So while at home for spring break I had a great amount of time to figure out things about myself. So i’m writing a list for comedic affect.

-my blood sugars become dangerously high and nothing will lower them. Is this due to lack of activity or stress of the parents?

-I am a people person. There are no people in columbia missouri so therefore not a place for me.

-One can talk to or rule out every single person on manhunt within 12 hours

-hollywood video does not carry enough rental to entertain and insomniac college student

-I become able to take it longer and more pleasurable as a bottom even after not getting fucked for a long time

-When topping I really don’t know where to put it. It’s more of a seak and destroy mission but the seaking is hard without a radar.

-The dermatologist says I should be frustrated with my skin for never getting better

-My mom does not like to buy me anything and likes to put it off so that when I want it the item cannot be found. Then she gets mad that I hold a grudge at her

-My mom likes to go shopping with me because I find her twice as many items in half the time that look twice as better as thigns she picks for half the cost

-My dad gambles a lot of money. The fact that he does not win has not seemed to stop him

-When people go missing for more than 72 hours I turn into a jewish mother

-Corbinfisher.com is the best porn that one can find online for a decent price

-People do not update there facebooks and myspaces as often and you think

-I can type out a long list of things I learned while home work a week in about 10 seconds

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when life gives you lemons make lemonheads Thursday, Mar 22 2007

You know as the old saying goes ; when life gives you lemons make lemonade. For those of us who do not understand this I will break it down. bad things like lemons just happen. Nobody really likes just a lemon and nobody really likes bad things to happen to them. we may be used to handling them but we all want the feeling of nirvana in the end. We have to take these bad things (lemons) and use them as an ingredient for lemonade (something tasty and refreshing). The key thing in this recipe is to use the real lemonade recipe. If the country time way is used one just ends up with powder. And they do not make lemonade… just a whitney houston wanna be.

NOW to apply to my life. First there are variances. What if somebody likes lemons. I had received what I thought was a lemon from online. But this lemon was not a lemon at all that fell off the tree. It appeatted yellow but that turned out to be an object made of gold. The most beautiful gold lump ever. And this golden lump and I made a delightful combination. Ok it wasn’t really gold but the lemon still qualifies as special. Lemonade was already made for me. I can’t turn lemonade into anything besides urine. It is alreaday yellow and citric and not something I want to make as anything pleasant. Anyways I grew more and more fond of my lemon. One day though the lemon seemed to not care as much about being my special lemon. It seemed a bother for the lemon to make my face squinch. I have a lemon that is my favorite fruit and only fruit of interest. But i’m not sure about my lemon anymore. Sometimes fruits rot on the inside. A way to keep people from eating them. But who knows. A once happy relationshup with a fruit could go either way. As of this moment the lemon is spraying it’s juice inside my open wound. I want my lemon but does my lemon want me? I guess my question is what do you do if life gives you lemonade? I don’t want to make it my lemonade to turn into a lemon.

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video killed the radio star Tuesday, Mar 20 2007

Ok so my title was a lot more clever when I thought I was going to go to a video only blog. But either this site can’t do it or I’m just stupid. Both are good options. My life has been two things:

1)Laura and Elan came to visit. I didn’t know smart people knew how to be this much fun. Besides inside jokes nothing exciting happend. Except I got drunk for the first time in a long time. So we went out and what did I do? I grabbed spencer’s keys and ran to rachel’s room. I then was crying harder than I have ever cried saying Spencer was going to die if he drove.

2) Jason and I decided to be extra’s in a movie. First we planned out the itinerary. Get home from work stay up for an hour then shower and drive Laura to the trian station and go be an extra then get back shower and return to work. If you thought I left out the word sleep I did not. There was no time for sleep. I had moderatly paying jobs that were calling my name. So it turned out the movie was for lifetime. Yay. Ok well I will only be watching lifetime movies. Not being an extra in any. First of all everybody looked about 10. I never knew pubic hair was such a rarity. Also there were some serious extras. They had agents and brought suitcases full of clothes. Way too many actors. I felt overshawdowed by the slew of oscars, emmys, and tony’s. While we were waiting in line to a location this girl introduced her self. That is nice if she wasn’t deadly nervous and jittery with a sense she was going to reveal a deep secert soon such as she cuts herself to fake a period. Then after having to re inact the same scenes for four hours at a time we finally got to be able to leave. Then at work the lack of sleep and my medications made me go insanse. Also through in that I wore eye make up for St Patty’s day. Which combined with tears made me look like a crack whore. That was the climax. I hope you enjoyed.

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shh don’t ask don’t tell Monday, Mar 12 2007

So first a little social commentary. An army guy who is in charge of others is in court fighting rape allegations. He alledges that they are saying it’s rape because they do not want to get kicked out. I’m only spreading the word because we all feel the same way. Next for my homo socio commentary is Ann Coulter. She said she can’t talk about John Edwards because if you mention the word fag you have to go to rehab. Despite outrage let’s face it, she ain’t going no where. She pisses people off but it’s a unique voice. I actually thought the comment was funny. I know she’s a biggot who shouldn’t be homophobic. What man would marry her? I think fag hag. Oops rehab for me. Anyways she does have a good point. Isiah Washington is doing this PR repair but to me I think it’s all bull shit. If he meets with the director of GLADD is anything really accomplished? Just let TR Knight call him the N word and he’ll change into the peace loving Dr. Burke we all know and love.

Now for my life. Even though I am having problems in Hebrew Class I for fun switched wikipedia to Hebrew. I turned fluent for that 20 seconds.

I had two weird dreams that were both incredibly realistic. First I had a dream that I had ben’s phone but it was empty since he breaks his phone more than Madonna breaks the record books. Second was that Zoe called me. But to not wake my roommate I ran to the bathroom. Netiher happend but both are likely scenarios.

Lastly in my life I was hanging out with my new favorite man candy heith bar crunch. While we were making out on the balcony of the pub some guy cames up and said “I don’t mean to interupt but do you Jig?” i told him I don’t know what that is so i probably don’t do it. Apparently jig means x. That’s it i’m tired

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For your final you have one question and the answer is one word Thursday, Mar 8 2007

If non-existence is not a problem then existence is the problem. If one has no affect and goes unnoticed then the one could be replaced with a zero. The thing about zero is that zero is nothing. One has a meaning. One can change everything while zero changes nothing. See one is greater than zero. What is said in math is that when you look at a long problem with many parts: a problem in which one is capable of solving but either has not learned the means to solve the problem or does not know how apply them; the answer always turns out as zero or one.

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The busy diabetic Tuesday, Mar 6 2007

First the busy part. I just have had a ton of stuff all at once and throw in work and my insomnia. That makes me more tired than a coma patient. Now I’m changin my infusion set for my pump which requires me to shoot myself in the stomach with the needle. Then i pull the needle out and the cathiter stays in. That’s so I can pee through it. (I don’t pee through it for those of us who do not know any diabetics). Sometimes though the needle part get’s stuck and I have to start over. Of course it bleeds after because I put a needle into my wash boards abs. SO after three tries to my left side I gave up. Then I got it on the right which it’s bad to keep using the same side but I had the same problem last night of not being able to pull it out. 30 seconds later i notice blood on my shirt. The last one bled through the cloth type thing of my infusion set. SO for those of us who complain about life very few have this problem.

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