Ok I really don’t feel love just I love that song. I’ve been feeding my deprived itunes addiction with madonna, mariah carey, and nelly furtado. So I have been busy finally. I think it’s about time I die under the work load. Everybody in college does so I am not complaining to anybody nor should they complain to me. Ooh bitchy I am so uncaring. Nobody wants to hear another person’s to do list. I got a massage becuase I was holding a lot of tension (I turned more high maintence) and sore from mardi gras. I feel so relaxed I didn’t realize how much my body was jumbled like my mom’s purse or my roommate’s pile of items. Nobody has seemed to notice though. I’m excited because a slew of visitors are coming. Jason Yates tomorrow which I will only see him when I’m at work since he parties it up New Orleans style while visiting. Then Elan. I’m excited to meet the curly hair jew. I’ve never met a jew iwth curly hair. Lastly Laura. I have not seen her since july. She probably looks the same. Skinny and gorgeous. She puts up with my shit and almost never gives me any so that is why I’m excited for her. Oh yeah she’s nice too.
And the Oscar goes to Bryan Read Monday, Feb 26 2007
Uncategorized 6:08 pm
Even though I didn’t actually watch the Academy Awards I feel perfectly qualified to talk about them in any way I choose. First let’s go with the host. First if you know me I love Ellen. And I didn’t see her monologue but let’s go with this. She makes jokes about every day life. If you have a weird thing that you do she’ll comment on it. That’s why we love her. And her lesbian dancing. It really is how lesbians dance. So from what I hear although Ellenrific it was semi tame. Now the oscars are not a time for censors to bleep out so many things it sounds like somebody is flat lining. But it’s needs to reflect what year we are in. People shoulud be able to look at the oscars many years from now and at least give a frame in which they took place. We could say it was the 40th annual oscars. Next I really have no complaints seeing as I wasn’t able to watch. Which I usually just watch the opening monologue and read the winners list online. Why is that you might ask? Becuase the broadcasts last longer then Anna Nicole Smith’s time in the spot light. I know many people consider that rude but she likes the attention on her. The way to increase ratings is not to make the broadcast three hours and fifty minutes. I am well aware people consider their little gold man the greatest thing they will accomplish in life but I do not think they know that people at home do not care about if you had the best shoes in a movie of thirty minutes or less from latidue 40 longitude 20. The joy is in winning the award not making sure everybody knows it. Plus it really is just an honor to be nominated. When you get to the top it is hard to decide what is better. Much of it is just opinion. All the pictures nominated for best picture were good. If there is a close call between two nominees that means they are both excellent. If somebody wins it does make them feel special and audiences care about the major ones but let’s cut some out of the awards. The oscars have turned into this formal even in which major changes that need to happen are not going to happen and the academy of motion pictures is a totalitarian organization. Everybody has to act a specific way and anything out of the ordinary is severly frowned upon and censored.
Everything good and kind in the world… and me Saturday, Feb 24 2007
Uncategorized 11:12 pm
Between mardi gras and working really long time. Well only a couple months but in security guard years it’s a lot. Like how dog years are around 7 to one. And black people years are 20 to one. Anyways I work at a place the keylock can feeel sticky becuase people use their keys to do some powered sugar and if you assault a fellow employee your job is probably still safe. That makes it easy to be the angel at a work place when each person uses more white power than martha stewart uses during an entire year of her show (flour and sugar). That includes any drugs she does since she has to do something for her to try and tell jokes. Although she is actually semi funny. Back to the point of how I have suspicions about me stealing. Ok I have supspicions about suspicions about me but I have very strong evidence to support them. So me being honest and doing my job is getting me on the shit list. Also I feel left out at work, a lot like elementary school. This leads me to the conclusion that I should do things that are wrong. If I am so drugged that I don’t see any people during mardi gras that will make me Mr. Popular. The fact that I can have my car searched is what I am thinking leads me to be isolated. Of course I will remain an angel. except in the bedroom where I am a fiesty chika, but I would just like to say how it is semi bullshit. The moral of this story is hard wark and honesty are not the routes to take. I would like to blame Nancy Reagan for her war on drugs. Whitney Houston for usuing her fame from the bodyguard to promote cocaine. Not crack since to her it’s the poor person drugs. And of course Anna Nicole Smith who made Alcohol seem glamorous. Yes since I am not an alchi that ruins it too. But I will retain my moral values and continue to promote an America that a family can live in, doors can remain unlocked without fear of theft, and TSA will no longer be needed. Thank you and God Bless. Amen
the w-2 of my life Friday, Feb 23 2007
Uncategorized 6:01 pm
Let me audit the past couple days. Well my social security tax is really high. I am an old man now. I am tired and crotchity all the time. My entire body is sore and I just asked my dad for money so that’s like social security. Then let’s do witholdings from my paycheck. By paycheck I mean memory and by witholdings I mean I was drunk last night. I felt empowered and came up with the best plan to get two people back together then forgot it today. Besides that I booked a massage for tuesday and they thought I was a female on the phone. Gurl I have no fucking clue what that cunt is talking about. I am tired but want to entertain my adoring fans so this is short and sweet. Like my penis.
Mardi Gras Part Two Thursday, Feb 22 2007
Uncategorized 3:05 am
The exciting conclusion is all the main characters die. Now that they are out of the way we can talk about me in my life. Yeah if I thought part one was bad boy was I wrong. Let’s say for Sunday and Monday night I was like Dolly Parton. I worked 9-5. Just till 5 am. All I have to say is that people were fucked up on booze and drugs. People were also horny as all fuck and making out and god knows what else. And those were the employees. One was on K and didn’t know where he was. One was crashing off of tina and halucinating. And another was no help. So on security was basically two coherent people. Needless to say we made friends really quickly. Then the usual. Kicking people out. carrying people out. I got a little action so not all was bad. Nothing major but I really needed it. Last night was the cherry on top of the penis. I mean that like virginity of course. We were carrying ice across the street from the courtyard on a wheelie thingy. And on the third and last trip with a full load of ice I slipped on the ramp being the only person carrying it. Luckily the handle on the back landed next to me and not on my chest because I had it slanted to line it up right. So laying there on the ramp with the thingy all loaded up with ice. My dignity was intact. So walter tried to lift it off me and couldn’t. So I had to push it up myself. Yeah I pushed the ice off my mother fucking self. So after working six nights. Spending five nights on a hard wooden floor. 30 seconds on a hard wooden ramp. I survived for what will end up being about 5 bucks. Moral of the story. Dont’ work at a bar on bourbon street.
P.s. My counselor’s internship ended today and therefore I lost something almost as near and dear to me as my car.
Mardi Gras part one Sunday, Feb 18 2007
Uncategorized 10:21 pm
I am at the half way point on this roller coaster we know as a tourist holiday and worker’s test of physical and mental endurance. I figure I will just describe the horrors I have had to struggle through on this lovely sunday afternoon. Let us begin with thursday. There was an employee meeting. There were a lot of things discussed that pertained to one person and he has yet to change. typical men. Thursday wasn’t that bad. We decided not to charge cover. So I just helped sign up hotties for the student body contests. Then i got to watch it. Let me just say this. The judges were all tough. Not tough but fair but just bitches. Not a single one of them would ever enter and that does not mean they should give everybodys good scores. But not everybody should have what my GPA. Especially if they are not taking calc. relativley uneventful. I got off at 2:30 since I didn’t sleep the night before. After 44 hours in a row up I was ready for some sleep. Now let’s start friday. A lot more people. And I touched all their wrists. So since I learned you can’t mix ADD stimulant meds and decongestants I didn’t take my ADD meds. This led to me crashing mentally around 2 in the morning which led to the managers thinking I was drunk and on heavy drugs. That was pleasant. But I cleared that up the next day. My days just keep getting better. There is a wristband issue from saturday night but I can’t really talk about it. It’s very hush hush. Also I forgot my time clock number. Yes it’s only three digits and I have worked here since The begining of october. And yes I was able to clock in. But I have no idea what it is. So I had to fill out a time clock adjustment form to clock out. Also for internet I come to the pub. Which is funny that i spend all my time here and bring my laptop too. It is also funny to be on manhunt at the pub. It’s doing the same thing on the internet and in person at the same time. Like a wizard playing warcraft. Just as a side not while sitting here N/O aids dropped a little baggy of condoms off at the table. I thought that was funny. To be continued… like desperate housewives and grey’s anatomy form last week. I haven’t seen part two of either so don’t tell me how they end.
2 a.m. and she called me cause i’m still awake Thursday, Feb 15 2007
Uncategorized 1:41 pm
Ok so my title isn’t 100% true. I didn’t get back in my room until 2:30 last night. It’s actuall 7:22 and I haven’t gone to bed yet. From what I hear from one of my friends it can kind of be like crack. Which I believe. At least it will help me through mardi gras. I wish I could go to bed though. If only to pass the time. My room is not interesting at 5am. But anyways I decided to use my new found knowledge of sunrise to to a pre mardi gras blog. I work the next six nights…at a bar… on bourbon st. Oh yeah I may not make it. So I think I had a fever over the past two days. Which is why I almost passed out in Target. Also my lymphs are swollen again. I’m thinking if it happens again to have my tonsils looked at. It makes me think of all those shows we watched as kids where they got their tonsils taken out. And the kid was scared (always a supporting cast member even in cartoons). Then the adults say you get all the ice cream you want. And the kids reluctantly do it. And their voice sounds like their balls dropped. Also let’s talk about the weather. Some small talk if you will. Tuesday it was about 75. Yesterday and today there is a freezing warning. The temperature is unpredictable then my mood. When i’m on my period of course. So for mardi gras I’m staying with a friend in the quarter. I’m hoping my roommate doesn’t detroy the room. I’m kind of glad i’m not going to be here. I wish my roommate was the one leaving though so nothing will get broken. If I could I would take my tv and xbox360 with me so they remain unharmed. Can I hire a body guard for them? I just want to fast forward and get my mardi gras paycheck. I have it prespent in my head. Ms. Paul Tulane outfit. Hopefully that won’t be too expensive. I can’t bring myself to spend too much on women’s clothes if I am not in the pagaent system. Hopefully Lane Bryant will have a sale for me. Next I really want my eyebrow pierced. Of course for a sign of rebellion and individuality. And lastly a decent pair of headphones. I’ve never owned a pair of truely decent headphones. The only thing that is worse is not having a dog. Oh wait that was me too. Hopefully after that I can save. But I will have to get through this week first. At least hopefully I should loose a lot of weight. Let us pray. Both that I will loose weight and for my health and safety. Praise Jesus Amen
to the left to the left. Monday, Feb 12 2007
Uncategorized 8:49 pm
to the left is what I think while doing my job. This is for three reasons: One is that they play Beyonce about 4 times an hour. Think chruch bells. Another reason is that the wristbands go on the right hand for the patrons of where I work. So that is my left. An easy way to remember is to the left to the left. The only problem is that the box of wristbands is on the right but how I can apply the song is that the box of wristbands is to their left. Lastly I finally bought it on itunes since it is always stuck in my head. So the mardi gras schedule was finally put up last night at about 11. Way to plan ahead management. It wasn’t really a big surprise. Only six days in a row in which my hours are listed as 9- . I guess that means I can leave whenever I want. Or more likely around 8 am. Let’s just say I will be mr sunshine for a couple weeks after ash wednesday. Yes weeks. it does take that long to fully recover. I’m tired now from 7 hours of sleep after 4 hours of work. Nothing else really new for me. Oh I finally came out of the closet. It was a tough decision but it is for the best that everybody know I am a homosexual
Crewe de annoys me Monday, Feb 5 2007
Uncategorized 5:42 pm
Let me recap. Saturday night at work sucked. Every person at the barwas drunk. I know bar = drunk but we had to throw a lot of people out. Literally we threw people out. Dead weight is really hard to lift. At least Sunday went better. After work I had a really good grilled cheese. Well any grilled cheese is better than bruff’s. On the other side of thing mardi gras is in full swing. That means it sucks to be in New Orleans. Tourists are just a pain to deal with. OK I would be fine with it except they cross the St Anne line. You know that imaginry line on Bourbon st that divides the gay world from the straight one. There are fewer gay tourists in New Orleans but when they are huge drunks who can’t handle their alcohol. Then they yell at me for a cover charge. I just wonder if they want free drinks too. At least for mardi gras I found a place to stay. My list for packing is as follows. Ambien, ear plugs, and textbooks. I’m not allowed to bring people back though. That means sex on the street! and on that note this boring blog is over with
