Uncategorized 10:06 pm
So last night southern decadence started off. It was actually quite fun except for the three people needing ambulances. Also one of the dancers was in a singlet and it was terrificly hot.
Today in therapy my therapist started complaining about her parents. I think she just got tired of hearing my problems.
The people at taco bell just decided to make what they felt like and fucked up my order
Uncategorized 7:03 am
So first with the now then the future. My pseduo romance who isnt’ ready for a “realtionship” was with somebody else tuesday. Who I need to be snide to and ask him who it was. I love having so many people who care about me. Also I caught him in a lie where he fucked somebody numerous times and said he didn’t. Here’s the conversation I worked out in my mind. We shall code name him madonna for the fun of this.
Me: Dead men tell no tales. But drunk ones do?
madonna: what do you mean? huh?
Me: I know through my sources that you had sex with cher (again disguised name) a couple times
Madonna: why would you say that?
Me: his ex roommate told me. See here’s the thing about crazy people. We crazy people always tell the truth…cut into dramatic monologue from sex and the city
So I’m really excited also about the school year. I finally have good roommates. No New York Jew who claims to have a water born illness. well i guess water makes his pot grow. And then the most notorious suite of messy people a tulane. This year I room with clean easier going friends. Can two fags share a sink. Especially when they get ready at the same time. Tough call. we shall se how the living siuation is but it has to be better than the other two years. And we also have a circuit party coming up. I’m excited to work in the sense I don’t want to
Uncategorized 9:48 pm
So monday was the employee drag show at work. Needless to say Aurora Cecile was there. I did Tina Turner’s version of proud marry. Video to follow. I totally wore myself out. My shoes turned out to be too big. I had to call my landlord and go hey did I get a package today. SO as soon as the song turned fast I took off my shoes. we raised over 13,000 dollars for N/O Aids.
Friday night at work was insane. somebody got arrested before 8 pm. Needlss to say the night proceeded like that.
Last night our manager decided to play a joke on us by having his friend call the pub and say Hillary Duff was coming. It was the good ending to two wild nights. Hopefully tonight Hillary will actually show up
Uncategorized 10:37 am
My mouth is so big I can eat them with one. Let’s do an update. My surgery went well. Although with all the bandages I am saying something I never though i’d say: I don’t want anything in my ass. Also another rare phrase I just want to be normal.
Today at work I had to lift way too many cabinets up to the third floor. I never realized how strong I am. And that I dont’ exercise enough. I’m going to be sore and for nothing. Well except my health.
I have to be at work at 5 and it’s alreadt 5:37 am. I hope everybody knows how cranky I get when I don’t get my twelve hours of sleep. So hopefully good night
Uncategorized 9:51 am
I am actually upset Tammy Faye died. The more I read her comments to the media and about her life the less I view her as a joke and the more i view her as a good person.
On thursday night some guy was peeing in the middle of the bar I work at. Usually when I have to kick somebody out I start nicely. Well fuck now he’s peeing on the wall and floor. I told him to stop and get the fuck out. He shook his fist at me. After yelling at him a little more I just grabbed him and dragged him out onto the streets. Well at about 4:30 am he tried to come back in. I could only laugh while I said no you pee’d in my bar. At one point earlier he also was basically passed out on the curb. When we told him to get his ass up he put his hand out for help. I told him no since after he went to the bathroom he didn’t wash his hands.
Also I got to meet Ted Allen. From queer eye and top chef. He was always my favorite. Well I think I just scared him. You know me I speak like Dick Cheney. At least I didn’t tell him to go fuck himself. Well he went home with this really nasty guy. And now we now why he’s the food guy; he tossed that guys salad and was apparently good at it. One more famous person who I shall never admire. Join Lance Bass.
On a more sex and the city note relationship crystal balls would be a billion dollar idea. I’m not sure if my man (we’ll call him Ted for now, it’s not Ted Allen if you think I actually fell for him) well if his series Queer eye for the tall guy has ended its run. At one time interest was in me. Do I blame Ted? Umm no you know how highly I value myself. Overall I may have an exterior that is considered repulsive. And that’s talking about my personality. But I really do try to be sweet. I don’t really get to see Ted that often and so I try to make time. Such as driving him to work or I knew he had a short window of free time when I would happen to be in the same area (i was picking up my pay check although I would have happily accepted an invitation). But all I feel is coldness. which to a degree is nice in New Orleans in the Summer but my emotions don’t relaly change my core body temp. I feel like Faye Dunaway is going to play me in a movie and go “Why can’t you give me the respect that i’m entitled to?!” Part of it maybe that he just did semi-recently get out of a long term relationship and is not ready. But is that fair to me? Fuck no and it’s also not fair to him. Can nothing blossom since we met at the wrong time? Or it could be I no longer stir his loins like I used to. We shall see what occurs. I’ve been crushed before but I hate being led on and lied to. I’d rather somebody say they hate me then pretend to love me.
Uncategorized 10:33 pm
So I finally got Wifi in my apartment. Well I got it a couple days ago but I had to catch up on my internet porn. In other news with my dwelling it’s amazing. It’s so beautiful except a lot of dust is turning up. I may have to get it cleaned. While working friday night my landlord and the other two guys who reside in the building turned up. I live in a gay boarding house apparently.
Last night Frank was invited to a booze cruise put on by absolut and he took me along. It was amazing. Free booze on a boat is awesome. And I got a free bartenders kit. It’s called the absolut tool kit. Then we went out for like three hours about. We’re not really sure how long. Then when I got home I realized I left my phone in the cab. So I got online and made a friend call it and keep dialing it. Eventually the cab driver came backa nd I had to pay a fare to which I think he just drove around a little bit. But the good news is I got my phone back. I have all my numbers on my computer but I would probably havetoget a shitty phone.
Lastly I have anal warts. To all those question you’re probably wondering Yes I have an idea who gave it to me and no I’m not a whore. I am seeing a colon rectal surgeon tomorrow and will need him to stick a knife into my butt. I’m just hoping I end up with vicodin after the surgery
Uncategorized 7:33 pm
So I have made a return to one of the greatest cities ever. Nawlins. Shorthanding since the only wirless I van get is to stand next to the wall I am living in a gorgeous apt. Working full time at the lovely gay bar again. I’ll talk more later when i don’t have to stand up.
Uncategorized 4:03 pm
For the ahmish who read my blog but nothing else in the news let me give you some background. Isaiah Washington got into an argument with McDreamy and called T.R. Knight a McFag. Boy those queens whirled up a storm. That man is hated now.
I guess first is his reaction. For saying fag he went through counseling and said he has some issues he has to work out.
Then nobody let up on him.
Then they are not renewing his contract. He is now claiming it is because he is black. Then why did they hire him anyways? And why are they not firing Dr. Bailey? Clearly he is just trying to gather sympathy with race since everybody came to T.R. Knight’s defense.
side not who names their kid T.R.
Anyways it’s bull shit that it’s a racist issue now. I can understand that he’s pissed off and I did feel bad for him but now he can suck it. Will the bullshit he is pulling now that is probably why they chose to not renew his contract.
p.s. if T.R. Knight is reading this I’ll bone you
Uncategorized 5:05 am
I am the biggest fan of old sitcoms at night. I just watched the nanny. I love that jewish bitch. Speaking of jewish bitches my mom is still one. We were just in Chicago to visit family and so my parents could see my brother’s pictures from Israel. During the trip we visited my cousin who just remolded her kitchen. She was telling us how her cabinets were made by the ahmish and started to talk about the ahmish. My mom who is delightfully boring thought it sucked to hear about the ahmish. When that is more intersting than anything she talks about. Hell living the ahmish live is more interesting.
I got to see my love Natalia who lives in Chicago. She scored free tickets to a radio station concert. There were about 30 rap artists who suck. But the 13 year old wiggers loved them. I saw more make up than I have ever scene before. Let’s be clear I’ve been to drag shows. But then we saw Hillary Duff. Totally a fag who stood up the entire time. But she was amazing. We wanted to see Rihanna but we would have had to wait two more hours. At least. Uhh yeah I already had my fill of rap so we went to dinner.
Nola so soon.
Uncategorized 11:26 pm
So the general opinion of my mom’s driving skills is already lower than dubya’s approval rating. After a day of getting to be driven around but what can only be described by pedestrians as Charles Manson’s chaufer I learned a couple rules of the road.
-when letting another car go first at a stop sign it helps to not even do the california roll. This way it keeps the other drive on their toes. Don’t let them go when you’re going
-the best way to break at a stop light is to do it 20 feet behind the car in front of you really suddenly then creep up slowly.
-it is stupid to be in the lane closer to the turn lane. Other cars need to be able to exercise courtesy and this is a good way to teach them. Also in case you have to go to Vegas it is good to know your luck ahead of time.
-if the driver in front of you breaks. no matter the situation you must slam on your breaks
-beware of cops at all times. Even if you’re not speeding. Even if the cop is out of the vehicle on the opposite side of the freeway their car (Which apparently is night rider) will alert the officer of your speeding and they will pull you over. Or there is another cop they will alert
If any of these rules are confusing just act in confusion. Beware though, do not practice any of these rules against my mother as she will get terribly upset
p.s. the title is referencing driving miss daisey
